just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
