Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
