is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
