My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
