batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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