Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
