I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Girls should come with a carfax report
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
How external is "for external use only"?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
