Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
