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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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