i will never coherently bang her
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
