ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
