was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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