Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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