I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
