i think i have herpe
just one?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
