Sry I called you an 8
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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