I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
