Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
You left your phone here
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