Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
