she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
