I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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