It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize