Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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