in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
