i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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