I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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