Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
