as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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