I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
