I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
