Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
