I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize