how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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