I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
