Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
