Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
