fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
