We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just cropdusted the office
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
