question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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