Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
