Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
