at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
