I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
