Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize