I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
