goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
