nut hugger
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize