One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
