So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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