the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My bed smells like the plague
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