Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
