that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
