i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
