well you can't waste a boner
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
