I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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