the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
