Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
