how can u be prego again
so that wasnt chicken after all
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
