YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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